Tips for when your relationship is struggling

by Amy Ensminger

This picture was from our vow renewals in 2005. It was also the year we began our journey of restoring love and intimacy in our relationship after having filed for a divorce. We had spent 6 years destroying respect and intimacy in our marriage and since 2005 have spent those years rebuilding it to a place where we never thought possible. It took hard work & commitment to using the tools we created and some days we both worked hard and used the tools and some days only one of 

us did. When it became overwhelming and just too hard creating intimacy & respect in our relationship, we tried to remember these simple steps:

• NEVER use or think of the word "Divorce"...or any form of the word -- ever!
• Have respectful communication 
• Ensure a safe environment for the relationship
• If we begin to argue say "7" (which means we both STOP talking) and reschedule the conversation for later when we both are calm and in a better place
• Reminisce about how we met & fell in love 
• Apologize when we do/say something wrong
• Offer grace even when the other doesn't deserve it
• Applaud, encourage and inspire one another
• Be nice... after all wouldn't be nice with a total stranger?

... And we also felt it was critical to attend & refresh individual & couples training's and then volunteered as often as we could in the couples training. Lastly, but for us the most important, we got involved in a grace-filled church. (we can recommend individual & couple training's and a church if you need one)

If you don’t know how to create respect & intimacy; are overwhelmed and don’t know where to start; or you need restoration in your relationship, register today for our next Creating Intimacy & Respect Couples Training or one of our 1-Day Relationship Tools Workshops. For information or to register on either go to www.creatingintimacyandrespect.com.

About the Author

David & Amy Ensminger are founders of Creating Intimacy & Respect which provides a 2.5-Day Couples Training and 1-Day Relationship Workshop's for Singles & Couples.  For more information go to www.creatingintimacyandrespect.com