Statistics tell us that many couples are so "in love" when they get engaged and married that they don't realize that the level of emotions will die down like the flames in a fireplace. Sound like it would never happen to you? It does with 38.2 divorces per hour of every hour in a business day in Texas alone.
Although we don’t feel like it at the time, constant work is required to keep the blaze of emotional intimacy going and some couples forget to tend these flames. They can’t believe at the time that they will get too busy; distracted; go in different directions; fall into comfort zones; life, health or finances gets stressful; or they negligent each other. When this happens, the pressures of life fall over their fire for loving and respecting one another like a wet blanket. Before you know it, all that's left are dying embers and a couple who no longer connects, loves or respects one another at all in any way. The thing we must remember is that dying embers when urgently and properly tended to can be rekindled into a blaze that yields both heat and light.
Some simple steps of rekindling that fire or making sure it doesn't die out are:
- Stop taking your spouse for granted…say “thank you” and appreciate what they do or say
- Initiate without keeping score or complaining, things that will make your mate happy
- Make time for romance
- Start "dating" again (trading out turns to plan for the date so one mate doesn’t have to do all the work)
- Start holding hands again
- Kiss in the kitchen
- Have
- Hug and hold your mate
- Affirm your mate with loving and respectful words in private and in public
- Take time to share and talk over dinner
- Plan a Weekend getaway (without the kids)
Don’t wait until your flame flickers and begins to die out! Start today and speak and show love and respect to your mate again with at least one of these simple steps. It often doesn't take much to rekindle the fire if the burning embers are still there.
Create a great day with your mate!
David & Amy Ensminger
