This is Destroying Your Relationship(s)!

by Amy Ensminger. (Some excerpts about Pride from Rick Warren)

Conflict, Arguments, Confusion, Stress, Hurt Feelings,

Disappointment, Anger & Chaos.

There is ONE sabotaging behavior in common with all these -- pride. Particularly wounded pride. When pride is in full force, it tells us what we want to hear. It whispers in our ear and gives us little thoughts, suggestions and ideas. For instance when you're in the middle of an argument, you're angry or you're hurt - PRIDE starts whispering things in your ear like...

"You don't have to take this kind of stuff."

"I'm going to get even."

"Who do they think they are?"

"I'll show them."

"Defend yourself!"

"Don't be a door mat."

"Don't put up with this kind of stuff."

"I'll show them who's boss."

"That's it! I'm out of here."

"I can't believe they are saying/doing that."

"I want a divorce."

"I'm not taking this any more."

"How dare them say/do that to me!"

These are the type things PRIDE will not only say to you, but will make you believe they are true. I have a question. Which one 'stings' the most when you read through them? Which one's have you heard yourself say out loud or to yourself? That's your first priority is to identify your pride, then wise up to the tactics of how it acts/reacts so you can take some defensive action. Once you've identified it above, stop and ask yourself how was it sabotaging my relationship...

"How am I being prideful here?"

"What am I not willing to admit?"

"Why am I not willing to compromise?"

"What am I trying to hide?"

"What am I being stubborn about?"

"Why am I being selfish about that?"

"Why am I keeping that a secret?"

"Why am I not willing to do that?"

"Why am I only thinking of me and not the other person's needs, desires and attitudes?"

Great news -- pride is just a behavior! It is a behavior that was learned so it can be unlearned with work, discipline, dedication and accountability.

CHALLENGE:

1. Think of the last time you had an argument with your mate. How was YOUR pride involved (not your mates?)
2. Identify exactly how you were prideful and how it was sabotaging your relationship and share it with an accountability partner or buddy you can trust.
3. Now, what is something you can do different the next time -- just a SMALL step (don't try and eat the entire elephant at a time).
4. Memorize "Pride leads to conflict, be humble". Say this to yourself whenever you feel/hear yourself being prideful.
5. Now, apologize to your mate on how your pride hurt them and the relationship and ask for forgiveness.
6. If you aren't able to overcome this behavior attend our couples training, or seek a counselor or life coach.

HOMEWORK:

If you are in a pre-marital, marital or crisis relationship attend (OR refresh to deepen your understanding) our next couples training and learn the art of communication and resolving conflict. Learn how to identify & stop your sabotaging behaviors. Learn how to forgive and let go. Learn exactly what you and your mate need to feel loved & respected. Learn 50+ relationship tools & tips.

About the Author

David & Amy Ensminger are founders of Creating Intimacy & Respect which provides a 2.5-Day Couples Training and 1-Day Relationship Workshop's for Singles & Couples.  For more information go to www.creatingintimacyandrespect.com