by Amy Ensminger
Did
you know that when we argue or are angry, stuff our voice or are unforgiving,
it not only changes our personality, but poisons our physical body? Anger, when fostered turns into bitterness,
which turns into unforgiveness. When you
stuff your voice it creates resentment and negativity which also turns into unforgiveness.
I
am a certified facilitator for CoreMap (Personality Profiling). When I work with clients and/or couples, I
can see in their profile when they get stressed, who they can get stressed with
and what they get stressed about. Don’t
you wish you could have that knowledge with your mate? In all of our relationships, not just the one
that is with our mate those around us don’t always know when, where, why or how
OUR stress will come out either. You can
create your own alarm button with just some simple tools that work, and I know
that because!
Let
me give you an example… Yesterday, I was
‘angry’ with our insurance company because of the hassle it was in dealing with
them about a wreck I’d had the day before.
I was doing my best to stuff that anger vs. exploding all over
them. In the middle of all that mess, I got
a phone call from a sales person telling me that what they thought they could
get for me, they couldn’t. Guess who I
had to work REAL hard at not being mad at? You got it…the sales person. I already knew that she probably couldn’t get
me what I needed, but she called me at a very stressful time. I was already stressed about the wreck;
stressed about the repairs; stressed because my insurance company didn’t show
they had insurance for me at all and then when they found us they hung up on me
transferring me to claims. This poor
sales person called after I got hung up on.
In the past, she would have gotten my wrath…big time! Today, after working VERY hard, let me say it
again…VERY hard, on my spewing & stuffing & how it affects not just my
personality AND physical body, but those all around
me. Today, I use lots of tools to do my
best to manage it. Most of the time,
with God’s help, I am able to do just that so that I can be a woman, wife &
mother that people enjoy being around.
Challenge:
So who are you spewing or stuffing with? Be careful not to nurse your anger or resentment
with them. Learn to manage your stress & how it impacts your personality AND health. Learn to let things go and forgive vs.
holding onto them.
Homework:
Create a ‘code word’ with your mate for when you
need to step away from a argument or conversation that you feel you are getting
angry or resentful about. Ours is “7”…(meaning
if we persist, the 7 deadly sins are about to commence on your head J). Guess what you have to do after this
‘time-out’? You got it – you have to
come back to the conversation with your mate.
SUGGESTION:
Do you want the short cut or the long way of
creating change in these areas? For the
short cut, our training's & workshops have tools and exercises on dealing
with forgiveness, communication & stopping sabotaging behaviors that create
spewing & stuffing? For info
or to register go to www.creatingintimacyandrespect.com
About the Author
David & Amy Ensminger are founders of Creating Intimacy & Respect which provides a 2.5-Day Couples Training and 1-Day Relationship Workshop's for Singles & Couples. For more information go to www.creatingintimacyandrespect.com
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