When God graced Amy with life this year by miraculously surviving multiple heart attacks in 2011, it was easy for me to look back at the things that were important & unimportant in the scheme of things to our marriage.
Whether its finances, household chores, job & kid-related pressures, in-laws or health challenges, we realize the list of stressors to a relationship could fill a book. Combine those big problems with minor annoyances – snoring, unfinished to-do list, where the toothpaste is squeezed or how the toilet paper is rolled – and the average couple can find enough fuel to keep them bickering 24/7.
So the question is … just how much of your relationship do you throw away by complaining, bickering, fussing, fighting or stuffing it about something? Obviously major issues cannot & should not be avoided or stuffed, but the key is showing one another grace.
Who is responsible for giving grace in a relationship?
If you are in a relationship that is abusive, seek help. Since there is no abuse in mine it’s 100% all on me on how I react or act with Amy & vice versa. I am the one who has to GROW UP & give G-R-A-C-E whether she chooses to or not or even if she deserves it.
God forbid you were to loose your mate just as I almost lost Amy twice this past year. The goal is to have lived with many more happy memories than regrets over things that really don't matter in the big picture.
5 things that create an Arguments
•Interacting/Communicating when in low-resources (tired, hungry, angry, stressed)
•Keeping a record of your mate’s wrongs (unforgiveness)
•Expectations…they will disappoint you every time!
•Selfishness…everything isn’t ALWAYS about you.
•Hearing what you want to hear (not listening)
CHALLENGE: Look at areas in your relationship where YOU can grow up & give more grace.
HOMEWORK: When you are NOT at low resources, as a couple, create a safe “plan” on how to talk about hard things that gives more grace than bickering.
SUGGESTION: Learn more about “Low Resources”, “Power Listening”, “Safe Communicating" & "Forgiveness" at one of our trainings in 2012: January 21-22, April 14-15, July 14-15 or October 20-21. For more info or to register go to www.creatingintimacyandrespect.com
To talk with us, contact 800.229.9252 or info@creatingintimacyandrespect.com
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